This week's photo showed some guys with beards:


FIRST PLACE: Langtry

"The Taliban infiltrates Swiss village ... news at 11."

SECOND PLACE: Rodney Dill (blog)

In the end Al Sharpton recovered from choking on the cough drop, but it cost Ricola $12 Million.

HONORABLE MENTION: Gridlock

Video feed from the World Famous Fondue Cam.

WHAT I CAME UP WITH:

Ahmad was pleased to wake up in paradise, but he was entirely disappointed with the selection of virgins.

This photo, recently released by Gillette, shows the focus group responsible for the development of its Fusion 5-bladed razor.

"All right, then. Spread right 47, dive pass 2, delay flat flanker motion, on me, break!"

This week's contest looks at... contests:

Contestants at a beard contest in Switzerland. The gentlemen of Northern Ireland are being urged to turn the other cheek on their razors and start the New Year by growing the most splendid beard possible in the name of manliness.(AFP/KEYSTONE/File)

Submit your best caption, and comb back hair on Friday to find out who wins.

This week's photo showed George Lucas reviewing a parade of stormtroopers:


FIRST PLACE: Gridlock

Dozens of Star Wars geeks march carrying banners representing the supposed nationalities of their imaginary girlfriends.

SECOND PLACE: wakela (blog)

Stormtrooper: Man, this uniform is hot.

Lucas: You think that's hot? Try walking around with my neck.

THIRD PLACE: Rodney Dill (blog)

"You on the right, aren't you kinda short for a StormTrooper?"

HONORABLE MENTION: sidmystic

"Seventy six flagged Clones led the big parade, with a hundred and ten pound ego right behind..!"

WHAT I CAME UP WITH:

Having finally figured out a way to sell even more action figures, George Lucas introduces the National Flag Stormtroopers series. Collect all 192!

The Star Wars movies are famous for showing a large number of rank-and-file troops dressed in white, led by a supremely evil man wearing black.

Fed up with the state of world affairs, George Lucas seizes control of the United Nations.

Congratulations to the winners. And to everyone else, your failure is now complete. Come back Tuesday and try again.

Sorry for the delay, but hey, it's still Tuesday! This week's contest looks at parades:

Star Wars director George Lucas, reviews members of the 501st Legion, a group of Star Wars fans dressed as storm troopers, as they march in a rehearsal for their entry in the 118th Rose Parade, in Pasadena, Calif., Sunday, Dec. 31, 2006. Lucas is the Grand Marshall of the 118th Rose Parade being held New Years day. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)

Submit your best caption, and I'll post the winners on Friday. Search your feelings — you know it to be true.

This week's photo showed two young boys meeting Pope Benedict:


FIRST PLACE: bojack

Allright, allright, I'll say it, 'And now, young Skywalker... you will die.' Okay, happy now?"

SECOND PLACE: Blacksphearvoid (blog)

No, really, I'm like Santa Claus. Come sit on my lap and I'll tell you whether you're a good boy or not.

HONORABLE MENTION: Anachronda

And your little dog Toto, too.

WHAT I CAME UP WITH:

"Yessss, that's it, come closer. Closer..."

"Join me, and we can rule the galaxy as Holy Father and sons."

"Sure, through God all things are possible, but let's face facts: It's extremely unlikely you will ever have a hat anywhere near as awesome as mine."

And that caps the last contest for this year. See you in 2007!

This week's photo looks at Christmas:

Pope Benedict XVI waves to children as he celebrates midnight mass in St. Peter's Basilica at the Vatican December 25, 2006. REUTERS/Alessandro Bianchi (VATICAN)

This looks like it could be a hard one, but then again I'm not a papal person. Submit your best caption, and I'll take my hat off to the winners on Friday, as usual.

This week's photo showed Sen. John Kerry meeting troops in Iraq:


FIRST PLACE: Chad (blog)

Yes sir, I am the highest ranking soldier willing to meet with you in theater.

SECOND PLACE: LarryHeart

Private Edwards shakes hands with a roadside Bomb.

THIRD PLACE: Gridlock

SOLDIER IN BACKGROUND: "I hope Jon Carry will come halp me figger out how two werk dis camra..."

HONORABLE MENTION: RFTR (blog)

"You should have worked harder in school."

WHAT I CAME UP WITH:

"Wow, that's quite a handshake you've got there, soldier! Um, all right now, you don't have to squeeze that hard. Hey, I mean it! Enough! Ow! AAAAIIIEEE!!!"

"You know, if I were in your position, I would have had four hundred and eighty-three Purple Hearts by now."

"Pardon me, but would you have any Grey Poupon?"

"Hey, guys, has anybody seen my hat?"

And that's it for this week's contest. Report for duty on the next one Tuesday.

This week's contest looks at Iraq:

U.S. Senator John Kerry (L) is greeted by Private First Class Derrick Edwards (R) at the Basrah Air Station in southern Iraq in this undated handout photograph released by the Ministry of Defence on December 16, 2006. REUTERS/Cpl Russ Nolan RLC/MoD

Submit your best caption, but don't get stuck. I'll post the winners on Friday, as usual.

This week's photo showed two men "sabering" champagne bottles:


WINNER: Rodney Dill (blog)

Every year John Wayne Bobbit's friends help him celebrate his birthday.

RUNNER-UP: Gridlock

Todays Secret Ingredient is... tiny shards of razor sharp glass!

Allez cuisine!

WHAT I CAME UP WITH:

Androids everywhere committed ritual seppuku in protest of Sigourney Weaver's refusal to star in "Alien 5"

Manliness Lesson #1: Not even sabering a bottle of champagne can make you look cool if you're wearing khakis and a blue dress shirt.

When a man commits rape, Pakistan's Sharia courts punish the woman. And when a man gets drunk, they punish the booze.

That's all for this week — cheers! And come back Tuesday for another round of captioning.

Via Forbes Traveler, this week's contest looks at vacations:

The Ritz-Carlton in Tysons Corner, Va., offers mancation packages that include five classes on manliness ($155 per class, or all five for $675) to teach, among other things, sabering champagne.

Kick back, relax, and start captioning. I'll post the winners Friday, as usual.

This week's photo showed a horse in a bubble:


FIRST PLACE: Gridlock

The French Military Historical Society re-enacts Napoleon's disastrous, but little known, Cross-Channel Invasion Plan.

SECOND PLACE: Cangrejero

The giant mutant hamster overlords were overheard saying, "Not so cute from the inside, now is it????"

THIRD PLACE: Steven Den Beste (blog), with an Incredibles reference:

"How are you doing that?"

"I don't know!"

"Well, whatever you do, don't stop!"

HONORABLE MENTION: Rodney Dill (blog)

The circus company had wondered why their new 'Horse Balls' had sold so well in Arkansas, until it was discovered that the ad had run in The Little Rock Gourmet.

WHAT I CAME UP WITH:

Having long ago rid the world of all super-villains, Dash and Violet were reduced to performing in a travelling circus.

French peacekeepers prepare for duty in Lebanon.

While most people think Michael Brown did nothing for New Orleans in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, he actually provided watertight safety containers for every last one of the city's numerous horses.

And that's it for this week's contest. If you didn't win, you'll hoof another chance on Tuesday when I post the next one.

This week's contest looks at horses:

Riding the bubble : French rider Olivier Garcia rides his horse Emir et Djugut inside a giant plastic bubble during training for the grand opening of the Stockholm International Horse Show at the Globe Arena in Stockholm, Sweden. (AFP/SCANPIX/Claudio Bresciani)

May the best caption whinny. I'll post the results on Friday, as usual.

This week's photo showed a squid in a parking lot:


FIRST PLACE: RFTR (blog)

Millenia ahead of the Lexus, Giant Squid have always been able to park themselves.

SECOND PLACE: Gridlock

After stealing a car and driving across town, Squiddy's dream of going to Disneyland was dashed when he discovered, regrettably, that he had no feet.

THIRD PLACE: Greg (blog)

The tsunami receded, with one giant squid left completely baffled.

HONORABLE MENTION: LarryHeart

Don't throw away a perfectly good Squid!
Re-ink them at Office Depot.

WHAT I CAME UP WITH:

No matter how much Larry practiced his riding skills, he couldn't get the other bikers to stop calling him "squid".

The new brand of oolong tea had some unfortunate side effects.

The Opti is woefully underpowered, has mushy suspension, and gets poor gas mileage. But it is shorter than a squid.

And that's it for this week. Come back Tuesday for another crackin' contest.

This week's contest looks at parking:


I don't really know what the above photo, via BoingBoing, is all about. But it seems eminently captionable.

This week's photo showed President Bush with world leaders at the APEC summit:


FIRST PLACE: apostropher (blog)

[whispering] Yeah, Vlad, it's called kancho and it's the best. Just watch how high Hu jumps.

SECOND PLACE: Gridlock

Yo! Harper! Why does Bush keep calling me "Guinan"?

THIRD PLACE: Vinegar Joe

"OK Vlad, Supergluing my eyebrow to your forehead was funny last nite, but how am I ever going to explain this to Laura?"

HONORABLE MENTION: Steven Den Beste (blog)

"Harper is a sissy. Pass it on."

"Bush is a dumb cowboy. Pass it on."

WHAT I CAME UP WITH:

"You distract her, and I'll pinch her butt."

"You distract him, and I'll get out of here before he pinches my butt."

"They hate us for our fashion."

"Dude, next year, we should totally find a country where the national costume for women is, like, bikinis or something."

And that's a wrap for this week's contest. Sarong and see you on Tuesday for the next one.

This week's photo, from the New York Times, looks at international diplomacy:

President Bush talked with President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, rear, and Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada talked to President Michelle Bachelet of Chile, foreground, at the economic summit meeting of Asian nations in Vietnam on Sunday.

May the best caption Ngyuen. I'll have the results up on Friday, as usual.

This week's contest showed Reuters' new news bureau in the Second Life virtual world:


FIRST PLACE: Gridlock

The next moment a hideous, grinding speech, as of some monstrous machine running without oil, burst from the big telescreen at the end of the room. It was a noise that set one's teen on edge and bristled the hair at the back of one's neck. The Hate had started...

SECOND PLACE: RFTR (blog)

"Fake, but accurate."

HONORABLE MENTION: Steven Den Beste (blog)

You know, if they keep working on it pretty soon Reuters reporters will look just like virtual people!

WHAT I CAME UP WITH:

Now that's what I call hack journalism.

"...And in other virtual news today, extremist orcs from a splinter guild of the Horde continued their rampage across the heart of Kalimdor. Details at eleven."

The MSM's virtual news bureaus had been well-received at first, but they were steadily losing ground to the increasingly popular Second Blogosphere.

And that's your caption contest news for today. Remember, for the latest word on new contests, check Riding Sun every Tuesday.

This week's contest looks at the MSM:

An undated handout image of Reuters' Second Life bureau. Reuters Group Plc is opening a news bureau in the simulation game Second Life... joining a race by corporate name brands to take part in the hottest virtual world on the Internet. (Handout/Reuters)

File your best caption before the results go to press Friday.

This week's photo showed two North Korean soldiers:


FIRST PLACE: Setsuko

"Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen... he's already got a nuke, you see! Oh yes, it's very nice... I told them we already got one." (snicker)

SECOND PLACE: Rodney Dill (blog)

On Right: "Britney's available, I'm makin' a run for it."

THIRD PLACE: skbnwinters

"I'm just not that into you"....

HONORABLE MENTION: Vinegar Joe

God, I'm soooo tired of kimchii.

WHAT I CAME UP WITH:

"I know we're a failed state, but can't we even afford some lousy background scenery?"

Despite the blinding flash of the nuclear detonation behind them, the well-trained North Korean guards remained at their posts.

"Ya know, if we were in China, at least we'd get to see some hot lesbian action."

And that wraps up this round of the six-party caption talks. Come back next week for a nuke contest.

This week's photo looks at North Korea:

North Korean officers observe the south side at the truce village of Panmunjom in the demilitarized zone (DMZ) that separates the two Koreas since the Korean War, north of Seoul, 01 November 2006. Senior US diplomats will travel to Asia Sunday to prepare for a resumption of six-way negotiations with North Korea aimed at ending Pyongyang's newly proven nuclear weapons program, the State Department said.(AFP/File/Kim Jae-Hwan)

Submit your reptile imperialist caption scum to the glorious contest! And check back Friday for the winners, as usual.