Honda X-4Riding Sun

Motorcycles and other stuff from a New Yorker living in Tokyo

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

CLEVELAND, OHIO (Rooters) — If reculsive artist Bill Watterson has his way, it will soon become illegal to own copies of his beloved Calvin & Hobbes comic strips — and even Stupendous Man may be powerless to stop him.

Breaking a long period of seclusion in which he granted no interviews and issued virtually no public statements, Watterson, creator of the wildly popular and critically acclaimed “Calvin & Hobbes”, has announced that he is seeking the total destruction of all copies of the strip in any form.

Watterson’s unwavering refusal to merchandise his characters is well-known, but his latest decision raises his commitment to the purity of his art to a new, and some would say too extreme, level.

“I’ve always believed that merchandising and licensing cheapens the original creation,” Watterson wrote in a statement faxed to Universal Press Syndicate, which distributed the strip from 1985 to 1995, and Andrews McMeel Publishing, which published 18 bestselling collections of it in book form, including a massive 22-pound, 1440-page “Complete” edition in 2005.

“My decision to destroy all copies of the strip itself is simply the logical extension of this core belief,” the statement continued. “When cartoon characters appear on countless products, the public inevitably grows bored and irritated with them, and the appeal and value of the original work are diminished. But when the public can simply read the original work over and over again, the same boredom and irritation inevitably follow. The only solution is to destroy the strip itself. It will live on for a few years as a fond memory, and then fade away entirely. And that’s the way it should be.”

Watterson is hardly the first artist to destroy one of his own creations. But he is almost certainly the most successful, making the execution of his decree a daunting logistical challenge. Under existing copyright law, owners of Calvin & Hobbes books must return any and all copies to Andrews McMeel Publishing by the end of the year, where they will be shredded and pulped in a warehouse specially converted for the task. Saving old newspaper copies of the strip will also become technically illegal.

In a press conference today, representatives from Mr. Watterson’s legal team admitted that while pulling the books from stores and libraries will be relatively straightforward, Watterson’s demands would be difficult to enforce against individual consumers. They announced the establishment of a website where people can report friends or acquaintances who may be hoarding old books or clippings.

“We’re counting on the support of the public to make sure Bill’s wishes are fully respected on this one,” said attorney Dionne Levchak, of intellectual property law firm Levchak Barnes & Groder, tasked with overseeing the execution of Watterson’s decree.

However, other legal scholars doubted that Watterson would ever be able to achieve the complete destruction of his strip. “Is he going to start suing college kids and grandmothers, like the RIAA?” asked Stanford law professor and copyright expert Lawrence Lessig, referring to the recording industry’s controversial prosecutions of people suspected of illegally downloading copyrighted music over the Internet. “It’s completely unworkable. It’s copyright law run amok.”

Lessig added that he was preparing a legal challenge to Watterson’s demand. But if it fails, then workable or not, the era when readers could legally own and enjoy Calvin’s adventures could be over just two months from now. That’s one cliffhanger not even Spaceman Spiff would appreciate.
Posted by GaijinBiker on 10.31.2007 at 1:24am.
8 Comments 0 Trackbacks
Topics: Rooters

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

This prank is pure awesome:


A bike, of course, could have passed right through.
Posted by GaijinBiker on 08.28.2007 at 9:22pm.
2 Comments 0 Trackbacks
Topics: Teh Funny

Friday, August 10, 2007

From the eHow.com article, "How to Have a Lion Dance at a Chinese Wedding":
Step One
Decide how elaborate a performance you want and how many lions. (One or two lions is customary.) Remember that the "lions" are costumes that are manipulated by dancers.
I shudder to think of the poor souls who missed this key bit of advice and hired actual lions.
Posted by GaijinBiker on 08.10.2007 at 1:34pm.
3 Comments 0 Trackbacks
Topics: Teh Funny

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Ladies and gentlemen, the inimitable Danny Choo:


Via Jean Snow. (I previously blogged about Danny's stormtrooper antics here.)

Thursday, July 5, 2007

I can't wait to see the big showdown between Optimus Prime and Megatron.

Movie? What movie?

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

I first posted this at Unfogged. With apologies to David Letterman, here we go:
Top ten initiatives of President Bloomberg's first 100 days in office

10. Federally limit all hot sauces to a maximum of 50,000 Scoville units. There is simply no legitimate need for anything stronger. (Also, sauce makers will no longer be able to use misleading trade names like "Joe Bob's Ass-Kickin' Death Sauce.")

9. Push through legislation establishing National Fire Drill Day, along with stiff penalties for heads of households whose families don't complete the drill in time. Times will be monitored by repurposed field agents from Homeland Security.

8. Pressure Hollywood to digitally erase all cigarettes, cigars from all films made to date; replace with CGI carrot or celery sticks.

7. A new tax on fast-food companies. Tax revenues will be used to hire government employees to stand at the entrance of every McDonalds nationwide and ask patrons, "Do you really want to eat here?

6. Abortion legal? Heck, in certain cases it'll be mandatory.

5. Building on the success of his NY ban on smoking in bars, a nationwide ban on hitting on women in bars. That sort of thing belongs in the office.

4. ISP's required to automatically terminate all internet connections every 25 minutes, so users will be able to rest their eyes, go outside, and get some goddamn exercise.

3. Historic "Guns or Butter" debate replaced with new, heart-friendly "Guns or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" debate.

2. Put federal air marshalls on every commercial flight; require them to inspect the entree for trans fats.

1. Count votes in all future elections with Bloomberg's own proprietary, highly-reliable data service, so we know they'll be fair.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

I know I said I was busy, but this is too good to pass up. As I mentioned in the previous post, I am looking for a house in Tokyo. At the real estate agent's office today, I saw a listing for a very nice, luxurious, spacious new house, with a suitably high asking price. And since this is Japan, sellers often think up an elegant-sounding Western name for such high-end properties, like Garden Cove or Park Terrace or some such.

The name for this luxurious estate? Welfare Court.
Posted by GaijinBiker on 01.14.2007 at 1:02pm.
8 Comments 0 Trackbacks
Topics: Japan, Teh Funny

Friday, January 12, 2007

This week's photo showed some guys with beards:

Contestants at a beard contest in Switzerland. The gentlemen of Northern Ireland are being urged to turn the other cheek on their razors and start the New Year by growing the most splendid beard possible in the name of manliness.(AFP/KEYSTONE/File)

FIRST PLACE: Langtry
"The Taliban infiltrates Swiss village ... news at 11."
SECOND PLACE: Rodney Dill (blog)
In the end Al Sharpton recovered from choking on the cough drop, but it cost Ricola $12 Million.
HONORABLE MENTION: Gridlock
Video feed from the World Famous Fondue Cam.
WHAT I CAME UP WITH:
Ahmad was pleased to wake up in paradise, but he was entirely disappointed with the selection of virgins.
This photo, recently released by Gillette, shows the focus group responsible for the development of its Fusion 5-bladed razor.
"All right, then. Spread right 47, dive pass 2, delay flat flanker motion, on me, break!"

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

This week's contest looks at... contests:

Submit your best caption for this picture!
Contestants at a beard contest in Switzerland. The gentlemen of Northern Ireland are being urged to turn the other cheek on their razors and start the New Year by growing the most splendid beard possible in the name of manliness.(AFP/KEYSTONE/File)
Submit your best caption, and comb back hair on Friday to find out who wins.

Monday, January 8, 2007

I found this in the ol' inbox just now:

Spam email with misspelled subject line

I sure hope I'm not in trouble with the eBay Deppartament. They might canacell my akkownt.
Posted by GaijinBiker on 01.08.2007 at 11:51pm.
0 Comments 0 Trackbacks
Topics: Internet, Teh Funny

Friday, January 5, 2007

This week's photo showed George Lucas reviewing a parade of stormtroopers:

Star Wars director George Lucas, reviews members of the 501st Legion, a group of Star Wars fans dressed as storm troopers, as they march in a rehearsal for their entry in the 118th Rose Parade, in Pasadena, Calif., Sunday, Dec. 31, 2006. Lucas is the Grand Marshall of the 118th Rose Parade being held New Years day. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)

FIRST PLACE: Gridlock
Dozens of Star Wars geeks march carrying banners representing the supposed nationalities of their imaginary girlfriends.
SECOND PLACE: wakela (blog)
Stormtrooper: Man, this uniform is hot.

Lucas: You think that's hot? Try walking around with my neck.
THIRD PLACE: Rodney Dill (blog)
"You on the right, aren't you kinda short for a StormTrooper?"
HONORABLE MENTION: sidmystic
"Seventy six flagged Clones led the big parade, with a hundred and ten pound ego right behind..!"
WHAT I CAME UP WITH:
Having finally figured out a way to sell even more action figures, George Lucas introduces the National Flag Stormtroopers series. Collect all 192!
The Star Wars movies are famous for showing a large number of rank-and-file troops dressed in white, led by a supremely evil man wearing black.
Fed up with the state of world affairs, George Lucas seizes control of the United Nations.
Congratulations to the winners. And to everyone else, your failure is now complete. Come back Tuesday and try again.
Posted by GaijinBiker on 01.05.2007 at 9:06am.
2 Comments 0 Trackbacks
Topics: Caption contests

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Sorry for the delay, but hey, it's still Tuesday! This week's contest looks at parades:

Submit your best caption for this picture!
Star Wars director George Lucas, reviews members of the 501st Legion, a group of Star Wars fans dressed as storm troopers, as they march in a rehearsal for their entry in the 118th Rose Parade, in Pasadena, Calif., Sunday, Dec. 31, 2006. Lucas is the Grand Marshall of the 118th Rose Parade being held New Years day. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
Submit your best caption, and I'll post the winners on Friday. Search your feelings — you know it to be true.

Friday, December 29, 2006

As 1999 wound down, the Onion AV Club put together its greatest article of all time: Least Essential Albums of the '90s. This was, as the article explained,
an unscientific assortment of ill-conceived experiments, earnest failures, and ludicrous cash-ins, but it's not a list of the decade's worst albums. It would have been easy to let loose on the grotesque excesses of the biggest, fattest, easiest targets, but this is trickier.
After noting truly inessential albums in a variety of subcategories and genres, they named the single least essential recording of the entire decade: The Adventures Of MC Skat Kat and the Stray Mob, a compilation of tunes ostensibly sung by the animated cat from Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract" video. The AV Club wrote:
The Adventures Of MC Skat Kat stands as the least essential album ever recorded by a sassy animated cartoon feline, surpassing even Garfield's 1991 album Am I Cool Or What? The rapping cat, who made his debut alongside Paula Abdul on the cheesy 1989 single "Opposites Attract," got his own 50-minute album a full two years later, allowing impatient Skat Kat completists the opportunity to hear him rock the mic on such tracks as "I Ain't No Kitty," "No Dogs Allowed," and "New Kat Swing."

...So inessential, you almost have to hear it. One of the most bizarrely ill-conceived albums ever released by a major label, The Adventures Of MC Skat Kat & The Stray Mob is a product of clueless committee thinking and Milli Vanilli-style studio hackwork at its most cynical. Never has a mass-produced album been demanded by so few.
Every December since then (except in 2004, for some reason), the AV Club crew has similarly catalogued the year's "recordings with the flimsiest reasons to exist". I'm not a music geek, but I find these lists hilarious. Enjoy: 2006, 2005, 2003, 2002, 2001, 2000.
Posted by GaijinBiker on 12.29.2006 at 4:17pm.
1 Comments 0 Trackbacks
Topics: The Onion
This week's photo showed two young boys meeting Pope Benedict:

Pope Benedict XVI waves to children as he celebrates midnight mass in St. Peter's Basilica at the Vatican December 25, 2006. REUTERS/Alessandro Bianchi (VATICAN)

FIRST PLACE: bojack
Allright, allright, I'll say it, 'And now, young Skywalker... you will die.' Okay, happy now?"
SECOND PLACE: Blacksphearvoid (blog)
No, really, I'm like Santa Claus. Come sit on my lap and I'll tell you whether you're a good boy or not.
HONORABLE MENTION: Anachronda
And your little dog Toto, too.
WHAT I CAME UP WITH:
"Yessss, that's it, come closer. Closer..."
"Join me, and we can rule the galaxy as Holy Father and sons."
"Sure, through God all things are possible, but let's face facts: It's extremely unlikely you will ever have a hat anywhere near as awesome as mine."
And that caps the last contest for this year. See you in 2007!
Posted by GaijinBiker on 12.29.2006 at 1:30pm.
1 Comments 0 Trackbacks
Topics: Caption contests

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

This week's photo looks at Christmas:

Submit your best caption for this picture!
Pope Benedict XVI waves to children as he celebrates midnight mass in St. Peter's Basilica at the Vatican December 25, 2006. REUTERS/Alessandro Bianchi (VATICAN)
This looks like it could be a hard one, but then again I'm not a papal person. Submit your best caption, and I'll take my hat off to the winners on Friday, as usual.

Friday, December 22, 2006

This week's photo showed Sen. John Kerry meeting troops in Iraq:

U.S. Senator John Kerry (L) is greeted by Private First Class Derrick Edwards (R) at the Basrah Air Station in southern Iraq in this undated handout photograph released by the Ministry of Defence on December 16, 2006.  REUTERS/Cpl Russ Nolan RLC/MoD

FIRST PLACE: Chad (blog)
Yes sir, I am the highest ranking soldier willing to meet with you in theater.
SECOND PLACE: LarryHeart
Private Edwards shakes hands with a roadside Bomb.
THIRD PLACE: Gridlock
SOLDIER IN BACKGROUND: "I hope Jon Carry will come halp me figger out how two werk dis camra..."
HONORABLE MENTION: RFTR (blog)
"You should have worked harder in school."
WHAT I CAME UP WITH:
"Wow, that's quite a handshake you've got there, soldier! Um, all right now, you don't have to squeeze that hard. Hey, I mean it! Enough! Ow! AAAAIIIEEE!!!"
"You know, if I were in your position, I would have had four hundred and eighty-three Purple Hearts by now."
"Pardon me, but would you have any Grey Poupon?"
"Hey, guys, has anybody seen my hat?"
And that's it for this week's contest. Report for duty on the next one Tuesday.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

This week's contest looks at Iraq:

Submit your best caption for this picture!
U.S. Senator John Kerry (L) is greeted by Private First Class Derrick Edwards (R) at the Basrah Air Station in southern Iraq in this undated handout photograph released by the Ministry of Defence on December 16, 2006. REUTERS/Cpl Russ Nolan RLC/MoD
Submit your best caption, but don't get stuck. I'll post the winners on Friday, as usual.

Monday, December 18, 2006

It's a little small for a caption contest photo, but this picture of an itamae serving up a piece of sushi is quite amusing. (Via Gen Kanai)
Posted by GaijinBiker on 12.18.2006 at 8:42pm.
2 Comments 0 Trackbacks
Topics: Japan, Teh Funny

Friday, December 15, 2006

While Harley Davidson's latest overbearing, super-serious commercial touts the non-conformity of its riders (all of whom, it would seem, non-conform in exactly the same way), Big Dog Motorcycles decided to have a little more fun with its advertising:


Sure, it might be offensive to some people — but anyone who's offended by it probably isn't in the market for a Big Dog motorcycle anyway. (Found via Helmet Hair)
This week's photo showed two men "sabering" champagne bottles:

The Ritz-Carlton in Tysons Corner, Va., offers mancation packages that include five classes on manliness ($155 per class, or all five for $675) to teach, among other things, sabering champagne.

WINNER: Rodney Dill (blog)
Every year John Wayne Bobbit's friends help him celebrate his birthday.
RUNNER-UP: Gridlock
Todays Secret Ingredient is... tiny shards of razor sharp glass!

Allez cuisine!
WHAT I CAME UP WITH:
Androids everywhere committed ritual seppuku in protest of Sigourney Weaver's refusal to star in "Alien 5"
Manliness Lesson #1: Not even sabering a bottle of champagne can make you look cool if you're wearing khakis and a blue dress shirt.
When a man commits rape, Pakistan's Sharia courts punish the woman. And when a man gets drunk, they punish the booze.
That's all for this week — cheers! And come back Tuesday for another round of captioning.