Via Fark, the Associated Press reports:

A man tried to use a stun gun to fend off a carjacker and ended up being shot five times.

...While trying to reach for his money, the man also pulled out his stun gun and shocked the carjacker. But the carjacker reacted by shooting the man at least five times, [Atlanta police Sgt. Lisa] Keyes said.

...Keyes stressed the importance of simply giving up the vehicle when confronted by a carjacker.

Bzzt, wrong. The correct answer was: "Quit messing around with Tasers and get a real gun."

If you think Americans are provincial and ignorant of other cultures, these Amazon.com customer reviews of Planet Earth will do little to change your mind:

David Attenbrough [sic] just doesn't measure up to Sigorney [sic].

I expected Sigourney Weaver's voice and got John Cleese.

My wife and I were entranced by the beautiful music, the soothing voice of Ms. Weaver, and the astonishing videography. What we go was rather different. Mr. Attenboroughs nasal british accent is quite annoying

If only they had gotten someone with a voice that would do the series justice. David Attenbrough's [sic] monotone is not the timbre voice that this series needed

I would have prefered Mrs. Weaver as narritor [sic] But Mr. Attenborough was o.k.

This is the British Version. I can't find the American version, which is narated by Sigourney Weaver, not some British guy, on Amazon. Otherwise I think the content is the same, but Sigourney is better.

Sigh... Sigourney Weaver narrating a BBC nature documentary is about as appropriate as Sir David battling killer space aliens.

Ezra Klein is puzzled by American vacation habits:

Every other advanced economy offers a government guarantee of paid vacation to its workforce. Britain assures its workforce of 20 days of guaranteed, compensated leave. Germany gives 24. And France gives, yes, 30.

We guarantee zero. Absolutely none. That's why one out of 10 full-time American employees, and more than six out of 10 part-time employees, get no vacation. And even among workers with paid vacation benefits, the average number of days enjoyed is a mere 12. In other words, even those of us who are lucky enough to get some vacation typically receive just over a third of what the French are guaranteed.

This is strange. Of all these countries, the United States is, by far, the richest. And you would think that, as our wealth grew and our productivity increased, a certain amount of our resources would go into, well, us. Into leisure. Into time off.

Upcoming Klein columns will no doubt include "How come we have so many people in prison if crime is down", and "Why don't physically fit people stop working out so much and eat some donuts already?"

Japanese company Toto makes the Washlet, a robo-toilet that sprays a jet of water to cleanse your nether regions and then dries you off, making toilet paper virtually unnecessary. I have similar units in my new house, and they're awesome. But it's definitely a hard sell until you've tried one for yourself.

Blogger Gen Kanai notes that Toto is now marketing the Washlet in America; check out this comprehensive flash-based website. It's kind of funny to watch the actors on the site talk about the product while dancing around the subject of what it's actually doing.

The New York Times reports on the first recorded instance of a rider being saved by Honda's airbag-equipped Goldwing (which I blogged about here):

Returning to the office from lunch on his 2007 Honda Gold Wing motorcycle one day this spring, Lou O’Connell got a glimpse into the future, if only by two seconds or so. A car pulled out of a shopping center in Weston, Fla., near Fort Lauderdale, and into his path. He could see that he was going to hit the car.

Mr. O’Connell said that although he did not expect to be killed in the impending crash — becoming one of the 5,000 or so motorcycle riders who will die on American roads this year if recent trends continue — he knew that at the very least he was about to go flying over the handlebars.

But then there was a bang and a cloud of powder in front of him. Though the front of his bike had slammed the passenger side of a black Nissan 350Z, Mr. O’Connell found himself nearly uninjured — intact enough to lay down the bike and stride over with some well-chosen words for the car’s driver.

That's good news. But the Times spends the rest of the article wondering what could possibly be causing a rise in fatal motorcycle crashes:

Riding a motorcycle is becoming riskier. Deaths last year increased by 5.4 percent over 2005, according to preliminary estimates of the federal Fatality Analysis Reporting System, and are up for the ninth consecutive year. Deaths have increased 125 percent over 10 years, a period in which registrations rose more than 50 percent.

Even when adjusted for more bikes covering more miles, the picture is grim. While the death rate for people in vehicles fell by about 17 percent for each mile traveled over that period, the rate for motorcycle riders more than doubled, according to the report.

That timeline coincides with factors including a rising average age of riders, more powerful engines and the repeal of state laws requiring universal helmet use, in part a result of pressure applied by lobby groups that persuaded legislators to “let the rider decide.”

So, what is causing all these crashes? Older riders? More powerful bikes? Helmet law repeals? I suspect the answer is "none of the above." Look at the very example that leads off the Times article itself: A car pulled out of a shopping center in Weston, Fla., near Fort Lauderdale, and into his path. Maybe, just maybe, the increasing number of bike crashes is due to the increasing number of careless, unskilled, and distracted car drivers on America's roads.

I first posted this at Unfogged. With apologies to David Letterman, here we go:

Top ten initiatives of President Bloomberg's first 100 days in office

10. Federally limit all hot sauces to a maximum of 50,000 Scoville units. There is simply no legitimate need for anything stronger. (Also, sauce makers will no longer be able to use misleading trade names like "Joe Bob's Ass-Kickin' Death Sauce.")

9. Push through legislation establishing National Fire Drill Day, along with stiff penalties for heads of households whose families don't complete the drill in time. Times will be monitored by repurposed field agents from Homeland Security.

8. Pressure Hollywood to digitally erase all cigarettes, cigars from all films made to date; replace with CGI carrot or celery sticks.

7. A new tax on fast-food companies. Tax revenues will be used to hire government employees to stand at the entrance of every McDonalds nationwide and ask patrons, "Do you really want to eat here?

6. Abortion legal? Heck, in certain cases it'll be mandatory.

5. Building on the success of his NY ban on smoking in bars, a nationwide ban on hitting on women in bars. That sort of thing belongs in the office.

4. ISP's required to automatically terminate all internet connections every 25 minutes, so users will be able to rest their eyes, go outside, and get some goddamn exercise.

3. Historic "Guns or Butter" debate replaced with new, heart-friendly "Guns or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" debate.

2. Put federal air marshalls on every commercial flight; require them to inspect the entree for trans fats.

1. Count votes in all future elections with Bloomberg's own proprietary, highly-reliable data service, so we know they'll be fair.

I first posted this at Unfogged. With apologies to David Letterman, here we go:

Top ten initiatives of President Bloomberg's first 100 days in office

10. Federally limit all hot sauces to a maximum of 50,000 Scoville units. There is simply no legitimate need for anything stronger. (Also, sauce makers will no longer be able to use misleading trade names like "Joe Bob's Ass-Kickin' Death Sauce.")

9. Push through legislation establishing National Fire Drill Day, along with stiff penalties for heads of households whose families don't complete the drill in time. Times will be monitored by repurposed field agents from Homeland Security.

8. Pressure Hollywood to digitally erase all cigarettes, cigars from all films made to date; replace with CGI carrot or celery sticks.

7. A new tax on fast-food companies. Tax revenues will be used to hire government employees to stand at the entrance of every McDonalds nationwide and ask patrons, "Do you really want to eat here?

6. Abortion legal? Heck, in certain cases it'll be mandatory.

5. Building on the success of his NY ban on smoking in bars, a nationwide ban on hitting on women in bars. That sort of thing belongs in the office.

4. ISP's required to automatically terminate all internet connections every 25 minutes, so users will be able to rest their eyes, go outside, and get some goddamn exercise.

3. Historic "Guns or Butter" debate replaced with new, heart-friendly "Guns or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" debate.

2. Put federal air marshalls on every commercial flight; require them to inspect the entree for trans fats.

1. Count votes in all future elections with Bloomberg's own proprietary, highly-reliable data service, so we know they'll be fair.

Why don't I just take the subway to work? Because I can't be sure Wesley Autrey will be around if I fall on the tracks. The New York Times reports:

Mr. Autrey was waiting for the downtown local at 137th Street and Broadway in Manhattan around 12:45 p.m. He was taking his two daughters, Syshe, 4, and Shuqui, 6, home before work.

Nearby, a man collapsed, his body convulsing. Mr. Autrey and two women rushed to help, he said. The man, Cameron Hollopeter, 20, managed to get up, but then stumbled to the platform edge and fell to the tracks, between the two rails.

The headlights of the No. 1 train appeared. “I had to make a split decision,” Mr. Autrey said.

So he made one, and leapt.

Mr. Autrey lay on Mr. Hollopeter, his heart pounding, pressing him down in a space roughly a foot deep. The train’s brakes screeched, but it could not stop in time.

Five cars rolled overhead before the train stopped, the cars passing inches from his head, smudging his blue knit cap with grease. Mr. Autrey heard onlookers’ screams. “We’re O.K. down here,” he yelled, “but I’ve got two daughters up there. Let them know their father’s O.K.” He heard cries of wonder, and applause.

Here's Wesley on the Late Show with David Letterman:


Check out the computer simulation of the rescue at the end, with the train cars whizzing by a mere inch or two above Wesley's head. Amazing.

The Associated Press reports:

Prime-time television actors don't buckle up or use motorcycle helmets nearly as often as people do in real life, according to researchers at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

Researchers studied 79 prime-time television programs on ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX over a four-week period for the study that was published in the journal Injury Sciences. The study found that characters used seat belts 62 percent of the time, motorcycle helmets 47 percent of the time and bike helmets 9 percent of the time.

...The study was conducted as a summer project that included two medical students, Alison Reiland and Stephen Tanner, who spent the first day alone in separate conference rooms watching shows such as "Dancing With the Stars" and "Without a Trace."

I spend a lot of time in law school watching TV, but I didn't get credit for it.

This week's photo showed Sen. John Kerry meeting troops in Iraq:


FIRST PLACE: Chad (blog)

Yes sir, I am the highest ranking soldier willing to meet with you in theater.

SECOND PLACE: LarryHeart

Private Edwards shakes hands with a roadside Bomb.

THIRD PLACE: Gridlock

SOLDIER IN BACKGROUND: "I hope Jon Carry will come halp me figger out how two werk dis camra..."

HONORABLE MENTION: RFTR (blog)

"You should have worked harder in school."

WHAT I CAME UP WITH:

"Wow, that's quite a handshake you've got there, soldier! Um, all right now, you don't have to squeeze that hard. Hey, I mean it! Enough! Ow! AAAAIIIEEE!!!"

"You know, if I were in your position, I would have had four hundred and eighty-three Purple Hearts by now."

"Pardon me, but would you have any Grey Poupon?"

"Hey, guys, has anybody seen my hat?"

And that's it for this week's contest. Report for duty on the next one Tuesday.

Trent at TheSimpleDollar.com advises a reader currently earning the minimum wage on how to plan his financial future. Not surprisingly, one of his recommendations is to get a higher-paying job:

If you’re working minimum wage and have a good work record, you can probably move up from where you’re at. Make yourself presentable and look at local stores with a more upscale image; these places often pay significantly more than a minimum wage. For example, my aunt has never worked a day in her life, but she cleaned herself up, walked into Home Depot at age fifty five, and walked out with a $10 an hour job. When you start this job, maintain a good work record and show that you’re capable of handling responsibility every chance you get.

Advocates of raising the minimum wage often overlook the fact that the minimum wage is not meant to be the highest wage someone will ever earn in his or her career. It's a starting point, a floor, not a ceiling. If you're not satisfied earning the minimum wage, well, you're not supposed to be. Grab the want ads and start looking.

You may have notice the Save the Internet ad that's been in the right sidebar for a while now. Save the Internet is a group fighting for "Net Neutrality" — the principle that Internet infrastructure operators shouldn't be able to discriminate among the different websites whose data flows through their pipe. If you surf over to Site A, you should get the same data transmission speed as if you had gone to their competitor, Site B.

Telecom companies don't like net neutrality, because they want to be able to charge companies extra fees for fast data transimission speeds. But this creation of a two-tiered Internet means telecom companies would be able to give special treatment to sites they like, while punishing those they don't. If Verizon, for example, starts a video sharing service, it could send that site's traffic through its high-speed pipes, while banishing competitors (and, one presumes, sites critical of Verizon) to the slow lane. And the potential for unethical shenanigans doesn't stop there. A politician supports giving Verizon some tax breaks or other special treatment? Fast lane. His opponent doesn't? Slow lane.

On the other hand, instead of trying to explain the whole thing, I should just show you Save the Internet's latest video:


Visit their site for more information.

This week's contest looks at Iraq:

U.S. Senator John Kerry (L) is greeted by Private First Class Derrick Edwards (R) at the Basrah Air Station in southern Iraq in this undated handout photograph released by the Ministry of Defence on December 16, 2006. REUTERS/Cpl Russ Nolan RLC/MoD

Submit your best caption, but don't get stuck. I'll post the winners on Friday, as usual.

Via Fark, ConsumerAffairs.com has named the so-called "Grandparents Scam" one of the top 10 scams of the year. It works like this:

An elderly person is targeted by the scammer who calls and says something like, "It's me, grandpa." The elderly person will respond, thinking it's one of their grandchildren.

The scammer then tells a tale of woe, saying they are in trouble and need some money, "and please don't tell mom." The grandparent obligingly sends a few hundred dollars, thinking they're helping a grandchild. Investigators say it works more than you might think.

It certainly works a lot in Japan, where it's called the "Ore ore" ("It's me!) scam, and is one of the most common cons.

I previously said that I didn't think the "ore ore" scam would work in America (or, at least, in New York), where people are, in theory, more cynical and less trusting. But apparently it does.

The New York Times reports on another hazard of riding the rails:

Any way you cut it, $102,009.17 buys an awful lot of pants.

That is how much the Long Island Rail Road and the Metro-North Railroad have paid over the last four years to customers who have torn clothing on the notoriously fabric-snagging armrests in a line of cars known as the M7.

...The armrests are longer and narrower than those on older cars and can slide unobtrusively into a trouser pocket as a passenger sits down — and then snag as he settles into his seat or when he stands up to leave. They are made of a rubbery material that seems to grab onto fabric and not let go, and the armrests also seem to have an affinity for the pockets of coats and suit jackets.

It seems odd that you'd be more likely to damage your clothes on a train than on a motorcycle, but there you have it.

Not only is Barack Obama's middle name "Hussein", but apparently, based on the following two eyewitness accounts, he's also a shapeshifter:

Obama’s Kenyan heritage shows in his build. He is not very tall.

Obama is quite tall and quite thin, with closely shorn hair above high cheekbones and a brilliant smile.

I look for the Republicans to run on an anti-mutant platform.

Sen. Barack Obama's middle name is Hussein.

Sadly, reports the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, Steve Favela, one of the officers in President Bush's motorcade, has died from injuries suffered when he crashed his motorcycle during Bush's recent visit to Hawaii.

You'd think there'd be nothing to do now but lament Officer Favela's untimely death and extend condolences to his family. But you'd be wrong. Some commenters on Crooks and Liars are desperately trying to spin this tragic accident into an Evil Republican Conspiracy.

Like this one:

Did someone try to kill the President? Is there a cover-up to hide what the Hell happened? Within hours, the Presidents Daughter Barbara, down on her "Run to Paraguay, gotta buy a 98,500 acre rach for to Daddy to hide out in after he's convicted of genocide" mission, was robbed and her guard was BEAT-UP!

Wake the Hell up.

And this one:

I hate to say it, but the first thing that sprang to my mind was 'What did he know/hear/see?'.

Sorry, this one don't taste right.

And this one:

I'd like to know how it happened, if only because they're so obviously not telling....

And this one:

I don't believe in accidents where W is concerned. No president is that unlucky. There has to be a scientific explaination [sic]. Maybe Bush radiates waves of failure that make it impossible for anyone nearby to do their jobs correctly.

I've never seen so stark and ridiculous an expression of the "everything-is-Bush's-fault" mentality. Of course, motorcycle crashes can happen in the absence of any nefarious scheme, even to very experienced riders. I wonder what these moonbats would say if they found out this wasn't even the first motorcycle crash in Bush's motorcade...

The first time I came to Japan was about 16 years ago as a college student, when I did a summer homestay with a Japanese family. The parents were very strict, with zero sense of humor. This was not a cultural-differences thing; as far as I could tell, they simply hated life, and they radiated this sourness to all around them.

I remember being surprised that the mother tried to force me to eat the raw tomatoes in my salad. I despise big, goopy chunks of raw tomato. Yet she demanded I eat them, saying my parents would be proud of me when I got back home.

Crazy, sure. But at least they didn't try to save my soul. Via Digg, Spiegel Online reports:

When Polish student Michael Gromek, 19, went to America on a student exchange, he found himself trapped in a host family of Christian fundamentalists. What followed was a six-month hell of dawn church visits and sex education talks as his new family tried to banish the devil from his soul.

..."When I got out of the plane in Greensboro in the US state of North Carolina, I would never have expected my host family to welcome me at the airport, wielding a Bible, and saying, 'Child, our Lord sent you half-way around the world to bring you to us.' At that moment I just wanted to turn round and run back to the plane.

Things began to go wrong as soon as I arrived in my new home in Winston-Salem, where I was to spend my year abroad. For example, every Monday my host family would gather around the kitchen table to talk about sex. My host parents hadn't had sex for the last 17 years because — so they told me — they were devoting their lives to God. They also wanted to know whether I drank alcohol. I admitted that I liked beer and wine. They told me I had the devil in my heart.

Michael, I feel your pain. Would it really be too much trouble for whoever is running this study-abroad program to screen out would-be host families who see foreign students as nothing more than defenseless targets for their hardcore proselytizing?

It's hardly surprising that the GOP suffered massive losses in last week's midterm elections. While the economy is surprisingly strong, the party has lost its focus on many of the key principles that lead people to vote Republican. Instead, it's come to be defined by extreme support for the religious right, including "faith-based" initiatives and the "defense of marriage" that at best, do nothing to make America better, and at worst, alienate many voters. And, ultimately, Bush simply hasn't made enough progress on the key issue that led many people to support him in 2004: Iraq.

That said, it's far from clear that a new wave of Democratic leadership will solve our problems. On terrorism, let's remember that the first attack on the World Trade Center, the bombings of US embassies in the Middle East, and the attack on the USS Cole, all happened under a Democratic president, before we invaded Iraq. There's no reason to believe that the people who hated us will suddenly start loving us. And on fiscal responsibility at home, excessive spending by Democrats is no better than excessive spending by Republicans. Still, if losing control of Congress to the Democrats is what it takes to get the Republican party back on track, it will all be for the best.